This is the SECOND time I have written this article. I was ready to publish it the first time, did the wrong thing, and erased it - with no backup. So the title is apt!

Pressure

This has been a very challenging week for me. I was brought face to face with many things in my life that frustrate and anger me; the Covid-19 exploitive leadership, poor leadership at work, endless bureaucracy in my job, short tempers at home, people on TV claiming to offer help who are helping themselves instead, etc. All of this was making a toxic stew of pain, frustration, anger, and hate.

Then my alarm went off; God brought me face to face with myself and I began thinking instead. Thinking is the first thing that fails when I am angry and depressed. My eyes opened and I began observing myself and my world, not to condemn, but to seek to understand what I may.

So what did I find?

1. Men and Women who wish to to evil will do so until God deals with them. Just like in all of recorded history, the same things happen again and again. And the results are always the same; they do their damage to others and themselves, then they are not. Another takes their place.

2. I have clearer vision into why the company I work for has been in trouble for some time. I can also see that if they continue as they are, they will fail. I have taken this to God and asked him for guidance, as it seems to me it is time to leave.

3. Most people want to be brainwashed; they don't want to seek reality. That is why blind, ego-driven leaders lead blind, ego controlled people. I can wish that it were different, but you cannot force people to see; the will must be there inside. When I look upon the layers and layers of my own brainwashing, I am appalled! And I am sure that there is more I haven't discovered yet. The only antedote for it is to become aware; most people won't because it requires you to look at all of the things you think are important, one by one, and to understand what they really are. They would much rather remain asleep, thinking "I am really a great person because so-and-so tells me so. I belong to the right church and say the right things. I am successful and respected."

4. Brainwashed people will believe that evil is good and good is evil. Don't believe this? Take a look around you; you can find examples of this everywhere, including the church itself.

5. There is light in this world, but few see it. God has always provided a remnant to himself that will come to him. I am happy that he included me in this list. I know he has done this because I have nothing to offer, yet he opened my eyes and redeemed me.

Yet in all of these things I find that my anger melts and love floods my heart, for I look with the eyes he has opened. I do not understand many things, but one thing I do: I don't have to own anything. I am not my circumstances, or my troubles; I am what God makes of me. The more I see, the better I understand this.

Thank You Lord for Joy!

Till next time,

Duane